Knock, Knock…..Who’s there?

Sign my guest book if you have a sec.

 

 

 

 

 

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Roots

Last night I stayed at my friend Jeff’s house, to end the evening off we had six people count them 1-2-3-4-5-6 people sitting around a fire at 3:00 in the morning.  This morning we were awoke by the neighbor at 7:30.  This lady decided to come over and make noise over the fact that we had woken her up at 2:30 in the morning.  Now let’s get some facts straight. not even a month earlier there were upwards of fifteen to twenty people crunked (and yes I wrote crunked on purpose) and loud.  Too the point that Lutz thought he was a tightrope walker and then proceeded to fall off the fence he was walking whilst pulling Jeff’s phone cable out of the wall.  We were way louder that night than we were last night and regardless and here comes the rub.  I have a hard time with people from any walk of life that choose to forget or fade away from their roots.  Like were you not twenty something once, did you not enjoy a nice fire in the few short months that this climate provides us.  For the record anyone who is not aware Jeff lives a stones throw away from NAIT.  This basically means low income housing for students and citizens alike.  Which in turn means a little more red around the neck and a blue collar to cover it.  Which in turn means a lust for life and the good times which when all is said and done usually equalls drinking and lots of it.  People who can’t let things happen, let them go, think just for a second about that time twenty years ago and they did the same freakin thing.  Now perhaps at this point you might think I was being callous and thougthless towards other people and I would have to agree with you if not for two things.  Number one if we were ever ligitametly loud and this lady complained then we would shut er down and go inside, but we’re not and I do know this for a  fact which brings me to the second point.  The other neighbors on the other side of Jeff are nice, polite, cordial, even respectful.  So to the lady next door the next time you TRY and wake me up at 7:30 in the morning you had better be wearing the ear plugs that you should have been wearing the night before.  That’s right I will give you such a righteous, justified earful that you will maybe just maybe realize the folly of your ways and the next time that we’re having a gathering instead of getting your panties in a bunch you’ll get on a pair of jeans, grab a cooler or a beer, or wine spritzer or what ever the hell old crusty bitches are drinking these days, you’ll shut your yap, stop, think and remember where you came from and what you did when you were twenty and the temperatures are in the plusses and come and join us for and drink!!!!!!

Here’s A Shaleily In Your Eye

My day started out I purposely left my lunch for the day in the fridge.  Why you may ask?  Well it’s simple; today is St. Patrick’s Day.  When I was little I started a tradition that I’m sure some of you along with alot of other North Americans particapated in as well.  That tradition being a Shamrock shake at McD’s.  So today when I got up instead of taking my less expensive and probably way more healthly leftover spaghetti I left it behind in lieu of the thought of a greasy tasty McDonalds meal washed down with one of my small pleasures in life.  Do you know what I got…?  Of course you do and it wasn’t my creamy minty goodness of those oh so lovealbe Shamrock shakes no it was a friggin coke!  And why because corprate Ronald; that’s right I said corprate Ronald.  You know him the same one now wearing a black suit with his hair slicked back all cool wearing those killer shades yeah that asshole.  Yeah well corprate Ronald forgot where the hell he came from and has decided it costs too damn much to truck in one days shipment of mint mix to satisfy one simple day in the life of many people.  Now I don’t ask for a lot of things lord knows I’m not a man of a ton of possesions, don’t get me wrong we’d all love world peace and I’m pretty sure we could all find a way to spend a couple million dollars, hell you wouldn’t catch me kickin a pair of red headed twins out my bed but all that stuff is like pie in the sky.  So I ask you is it much to ask one corporation to have a simple mint flavored treat available for my tasting pleasures just once a year?  WELL IS IT???  I don’t think so, so you know what there Ronald or should I say Coolio you and the rest of your corporation can go and choke on your pre processed no name meat.  And on my way out the door, Hey Ronnie here’s a shaleily in your eye.

That’s It…….. I’ve Completely Lost It

Now before I really get going I’m going to say that the proposed war I will speak of may be only in my head and my heart but this is my page and I’m the one writing so feel free to disagree.  I just got home and the radio was on and my dad must have been the last one home cause it was about as high up the dial as I would ever go that being CISN.  Now anyone coming to this site I’m guessing knows me pretty well and the amount of country cd’s I own and line dances I can do probably put together equals three.  Having said that I will say this on a public website that can be viewed by anyone and everyone…..I HATE COUNTRY!!!!  I hate everything to do with it the music the clothes the cheap knock off want to be hacks that only sing country because they can’t sing rock and roll.  Now here’s the rub what got me so riled up is this song that just came on, I don’t know who sings it much less it doesn’t really matter the point is the name and the lyrics of the song "Some Beach".  The reason I have a problem with this song and it’s title is just for one second pretend that Christina Aguellira, Eminem or Sum 41 were to sing a song like this with that title.  No sure it would still make it on to the disk, it would still be played on the radio and probably hit number 1 just as fast if not faster than if Kenny Cheseny Nuts sang it.  That’s not my gripe, my gripe is the double standard that would occur if this did happen.  Christina would be looked at as a slut Eminem as corrupting our youth and Sum 41 as being adolescent rockers who can’t make a buck without using or playing off of four letter words.  Give me a good god damn fucking break.  Just cause your white over forty and you can’t see your huge freakin belt buckle cause your huge freakin gut hangs over your pants doesn’t mean you can arbitraily decide that it okay to swear over here and not over there it makes me sick.  And yet they give these assholes a five day country music festival and take mine away all I have to say screw you Shania Twain, you too George Straight and most of all FUCK YOU NASHVILLE!!!!

The Sign of The Appocalypse

I think I read somewhere that if two people of the same gender go to Hawaii on the their honeymoon straight after there newly legalized marriage and share a newly legalized joint together after consumating their commitment to one another then the world will hurl head long into the deepest darkness and despair.  Now this may be a farce of course but in my opinion this must be what must be going through some peoples mind.  I mean c’mon drugs and someones personal preference of sexual partners is not something to waste taxpayers money when the alternate of what we already have will eventually pass and the world will still be here the next day.  I say if people want to smoke dope and pay taxes as a married gay couple like the rest of us heterosexuals then let them.

 

What would life be like without pants?

So it’s 2:30 in the morning and I have just created my new "Space" They asked for a name for it and itstead of fitting in the cookie cutter mold and having it named like Darryl’s Life or The Life of Darryl or maybe something totally different like The Life and Times of Darryl J. Henderson.  So I started thinking about what life would be like with out pants and I came to the conclusion that it would definetly mean (at least in Canada) the beginning of the evolution of smaller penises!!  Due to the harsh Canadian winters I believe that men’s penises would be in turtle mode more often and consequently it would begin evolving in that manner.  So I personally give a shout out to Levi Strauss and all the other in his ilk that keep me and my teenie weenie panted through the cold winter months.  So life is a much greater thing with pants…..at least until they come up with a real penis turtle neck.  When that day comes so will liberation of the panted world!!!!

P.S.  I was not stoned when I wrote this